Friday, August 12, 2005

Stay At Home Mum? No way!!!

I've been in Singapore for the past 2 days and being here means staying at my sister's place, playing and taking care of my nephew. It was fun for the first few hours but I got tired and fed up of running around and speaking baby language. I needed to do something to stimulate that brain of mine. Running around and playing lego blocks as big as my hand aren't all that stimulating. I can't imagine myself being a good mother like my sister. She stays at home all day, cooks, feeds and plays with her son. I probably would die of boredom and/or frustration.

My sister has a PhD in Chemistry and now she is employed by her husband as the Home Minister. Sure she gets a hefty paycheck but I personally feel that it is a total waste of her talent by staying at home and taking care of the household. But, she thinks otherwise. She wants to have a very close bond with her son and her husband. She wants to be there for the boy when he says his first word, stands on his two feet unsupported for the first time, crawls all by himself and etc. She wants to be there for all his first's and second's and third's and all the moments in his little life. She doesn't want herself to be replaced by the Phillipino maid who takes her son to play school.

Frankly, I don't mind. I don't mind going out to work and leaving my kid with the maid. In fact, I want to work. I want to make use of my education. Yes, an education is not equivalent to a passport to the working world but I'd rather make it as one. I don't like to depend on a man for money. I want to have my own income, spend on whatever I like, save the rest and invest them in properties or mutual funds. I always tell my mum that my hands are to sign important documents and prepare reports. They are not to clean the toilet and scrub the floor. Yes, I don't mind scrubbing the floor right now i.e. while I'm still a student but when I leave student hood, I don't want to do that anymore. I am not saying that doing housework is an insult my education but it is simply a waste.

When I'm at work, I can meet so many other people from different walks of life. But, if I am a home maker, the circle of friends that I'll meet are the mum's from my kid's kindy who compare prices from one supermarket to another.

Maybe I'm not ready to have kids and not ready to build a family of my own. Or maybe I'm just still too young and immatured. But then again...I really can't see myself being as great as my sister. I cannnot sacrifice my job, my career just to experience the first in my kid's life. There are so many working mothers out there that I know and their children turned out just as fine. I trust I will be able to juggle working life with family time.

Vinz and I have talked about this before and he, unlike my brother-in-law encourages me to work. He said that a woman should work and should have her own independent income because who knows what will happen next time. Her husband may be an alchoholic, a womaniser or a gambler. At least with a job, she'll be able to take care of herself and her kids. I cannot agree more...

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